Learn About Detachment

We let go of our obsession with another’s behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights; lives guided by a Power greater than ourselves.

In Al-Anon we learn:

Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people;
Not to allow ourselves to be used or abused by others in the interest of another’s recovery;
Not to do for others what they could do for themselves;
Not to manipulate situations so others will eat, go to bed, get up, pay bills, not drink;
Not to cover up for anyone’s mistakes or misdeeds;
Not to create a crisis;
Not to prevent a crisis if it is in the natural course of events.

Detachment is neither kind nor unkind. It does not imply judgment or condemnation of the person or situation from which we are detaching. It is simply a means that allows us to separate ourselves from the adverse effects that another person’s alcoholism can have upon our lives.

Detachment helps families look at their situations realistically and objectively, thereby making intelligent decisions possible.

Al-Anon is:
a worldwide organization that offers a program of recovery for the families and friends of alcoholics whether or not the alcoholic seeks help or even recognizes the existence of a drinking problem. Members give and receive comfort and understanding through a mutual exchange of experiences, strength, and hope. Sharing of similar problems binds individuals and groups together in a bond that is protected by a policy of anonymity.

Al-Anon is not:
a religious organization or a counseling agency. It is not a treatment center nor is it allied with any other organization offering such services. Al-Anon Family Groups, which includes Alateen for teenage members, neither express opinions on outside issues nor endorse outside enterprises. No dues or fees are required. Membership is voluntary, requiring only that one’s own life has been adversely affected by someone else’s drinking problem.

Adapted from Al-Anon Speaks Out, a newsletter for professionals. Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., 1979
Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 1600 Corporate Landing Pkwy, Virginia Beach, VA 23454-5617
Telephone: 757-563-1600 Fax: 757-563-1655
Web site: www.alanon.com E-mail: wso@al-anon.org
For meeting information call: 1-888-425-2666 (1-999-4AL-ANON)
(USA and Canada, Monday-Friday, 8 a.m.-6 p.m. ET) ©Al-Anon Family Groups Headquarters, Inc. 1981